Father’s Rights Still Being Ignored

Despite efforts by FNF (Families Need Fathers),  a government-backed father’s rights organisation, there is still gross injustice in the family law courts when it comes to separated fathers and their  rights in seeing their own children.

Slow progress has been made over the past few years but much more needs to be done to protect our children’s rights from being neglected.

To support children’s rights and father’s rights visit http://www.fnf.org.uk

Parental Alienation And The Damage Caused To Children

Parental alienation has been widely accepted as a term used to explain the brainwashing or conditioning of children by a resident parent (usually the mother) whereby they persuade the child against contact with the non-resident parent or persuade the child not to be enthusiastic about contact with the non-resident parent or their new partner.

Being on the receiving end of parental alienation is not pleasant thing. Since the birth of my daughter I have had to battle with the mother to be considered as an equal parent, but eight years on I am still battling to be acknowledged as a valued parent.

My ex-partner (mother of our daughter) never had a proper father as he split from his wife and never kept in proper contact and I personally think that this has a had a knock-on effect, because my daughter’s mother seems to think that I am not an important part of our child’s life and this is very saddening for both me and our daughter.

Too often I witness parents that do not seem to care enough about their children and it saddens me to know that I am willing to give my heart and soul to make my daughter’s life more meani9ngful, yet I am constantly battling with her mother just to be treated as an equal.

Why Try And Brainwash An Innocent Child?

I’m sitting at the airport on my way to visit my parents who moved abroad 4 years ago and as usual I am missing my daughter.

I have a life; several growing businesses, many passions and a girlfriend with children of her own. Yet still I sit here and think of my beautiful angel that means the world to me.

Today is her mother’s birthday and I kindly (maybe stupidly) dropped my daughter off early so that she could spend more time with her mother, knowing fully that the mother would never do the same for me.

My daughter loves my parents (her grandparents) but when I asked her this morning, she said that she would not want to go with me if her mother allowed it.

Despite the fact that my daughter enjoys time with me, my girlfriend and her grandparents, she is continuously being coersed or brainwashed into thinking otherwise.

It is terribly sad to see that her mothers parental alienation tactics are actually working.

I know for a fact that she loves the time spent with me and with my girlfriend and her 2 children, but at the very mention of seeing them, she gets uneasy and upset and she does not know why, which is very saddening to witness.

This poor innocent child has been subjected to jealousy, parental alienation and been at the centre of a nasty court battle for far too long, but her mother continues to act against her best interests and I constantly feel like I should just try and remove my feelings for my own daughter, but this just is not possible.

I adore my child and why should it have to be any other way?

Children’s Rights Need To Be Considered More To Help Avoid Fathers Being Alienated From Their Children

At my last court review hearing, although I received increased contact which is a positive step towards my requested contact schedule, it was made apparent to me that the view of the legal system and of the social worker attending the hearing, was that midweek contact between my daughter and me may not be a good idea and be disruptive for my daughter.

Since when and how is it disruptive for a child to be brought up with two loving parents that have their best interests at heart.

Before contact was denied and the court process started I used to see my daughter midweek and she loved it. I just do not understand why children’s rights and children’s bests interests are not being addressed properly in the UK. I simply cannot see how any damage can be done by blood parents wanting to be more involved in their own child’s lives, surely any child would wish for such a thing?

If common sense were used in family courts and judges were given the proper powers to act on these issues, then maybe more serious issues would be dealt with, such as parental alienation, coaching, brainwashing or whatever else you want to call it.

Positive Update With My Family Law Case

OK, I have a slightly positive update for this week. I had a review hearing in court to discuss increasing my contact with my daughter and to discuss Christmas contact arrangements as I have not been allowed to see my daughter at Christmas for the past 3 years, apart from 2 hours, which just does not count.

My daughter’s mother started off the court hearing by offering me only 2 hours yet again, which continues to illustrate what kind of person she is. Thankfully the judge and the CAFCASS officer were once again on my side and for the first time in 2 years they put real pressure on mother, to consider what was actually best for our daughter and not what she wants, for her own selfish reasons.

Throughout the 2 hour court session mother repeatedly said no to everything I requested and tried her very best to give me no extra contact time with my daughter but with hard work and assistance from the judge I am now allowed to pick my daughter up from school as I used to 2 years ago. Why a mother would want to stop a father being involved with their child’s school is completely beyond my comprehension, but it was achieved (with caveats).

Regarding Christmas day, after a long battle with mother and her barrister I was granted contact from 4PM on Christmas day through to the morning of 28th December.

I was denied contact on Christmas Eve and New Years eve but am allowed to have my daughter on the 1st and 2nd of January.

The increased contact is not ideal but it is a very positive step closer to my requested contact schedule.

I have stayed focused and positive throughout the court case and it just goes to show that if you keep your focus and work hard to achieve your goals, anything is possible.

A huge thank you to everybody who has messaged me on this blog over the past year, all comments both positive and negative are welcome and it really does help me to know other parents do share similar views on the family court system, shared parenting and parental alienation.

I would also appeal to Kent who messaged me recently and advised me to give up on my case. I have fought long an hard to get where I am and I have absolutely no regrets in representing myself with the assistance of a McKenzie friend, in fact I am proud of my achievements, although it has taken far too long to get here, but this is unfortunately how the court system works as court and government resources are over-stretched and the child and estranged parent suffers.

I still envisage being in this situation for the next 8 years as mother seems intent on being nasty and vindictive, so keep up the support and messaging your comments.

Thank you

Birthday Weekend With Daughter Cancelled Despite Court Order

My court order has now been broken for the third weekend.

I went to my daughter’s birthday party at McDonalds and when I asked my daughter’s mother what time I could pick her up, she replied “you know you haven’t got here and I’m not discussing it!”  Now, bear in mind this is my alternating weekend which has been in place for almost one year.

She seems insistent on alienating me from my daughter’s life, which can only harm our daughter as we have a great bond, but she still keeps trying to brainwash her and you can visibly see my daughter is uncomfortable when I and her mother are near each other, it is such a shame as our job is to teach and protect our child.

Yesterday was meant to be the day I took my daughter to choose her new bike for her birthday, instead I spent the day upset and confused, this is now the third weekend that my daughter’s mother has cancelled, despite having a court order stating they were my weekends.

Where are my child’s rights?
Why is parental alienation not stamped out?
When will father’s rights be enforced?

School Sports Day Made Difficult By Alienating Mother

Today was my daughter’s school sports day and thankfully the weather was perfect, not too hot, just right

As usual the only problem was that my daughter’s mother had her boyfriend there and he was constantly in my face and trying to compete in being closest to my daughter whilst photographing her doing her sports.

Now, it has been 3 years since all this started and im slowly being able to cope with mentally the situation, but I have never seen any other child or child’s mother subject their children to such a situation at our our daughetrs school, which is obviously uncomfortable for all concerned.

The most distressing part of the day was the Father’s race. A teacher tunred round and asked if I was going to join in and I said only if my daughter wants me to. My daughter turned round and said she wanted me to and I could see my ex and her boyfriend looking at me from the corner of my eye.

I agreed and went over to the rest of the dads, who were already lined up.

As I got to the starting line, my ex’s boyfriend came over and joined in, purely because I had. Now, this is not rational or adult behaviour, as this is obviously making it more difficult for my daughter and it appears to me that this was an intentional action just to wind me up. There is a long history of parental alienation and it is clear to me that my ex wants me to be out of my daughter’s life and thinks I am not important for her.

My ex’s boyfriend is a student and is 14 years younger than me and 9 years younger than my ex.  I have had enough of this childish situation and I only wiosh that I knew a way to deal with this guy and my ex, they clearly have no respect for me being a father and do not care about my daughter’s best interest, as these situations, which happen everytime an important event occurs, cause even more friction to a nasty situation where there is no line of communication between me and my daughter’s mother.

How can I deal with this situation in the long run, I am really struggling??

I Need Advice – Am I A Bad Father?

I never write personal blogs like this, but I actually need help and for once in my life I am asking for some help and advice.

Today, my 7 year daughter turned up at my doorstep clinging to her mother saying “I don’t want to see you Daddy, I want to stay with mummy”. I squatted down and calmly said “why not darling” what is it?

To give you some background. Monday  just gone (June 8th I was told by my ex that my daughter was invited, by her best friend, to a Holy Communion in a nearby church.

I responded by saying that it was my day with her on Sunday and that I should be allowed to take her to the church on Sunday. I acknowledge the parents might know our situation and be reluctant to see me as it has been 2 years since I have been allowed to pick up my daughter from school.

There were many email communications throughout the week between myself and her solicitor as she was only offering an overnight Friday in return to taking 2 Sundays away from me (my only day to spend REAL quality time with her).

Today  she turned up and said “if you had agreed to what our daughter wanted then everything would be ok”.

Seriously, am I a bad father for insisting I should be able to take her to her best friends’ Holy Communion.  I do understand that my ex may be friends with our daughter’s best friends’ parents, but surely if it is my court ordered day to be with her, they can just ask me to take her.

Today is the first day I have really questioned |if I should have had a child. My best achievement in life is my daughter and I have always been there and I will always be there. But to experience what I did today, my whole world has been shattered into tiny pieces as my whole reason for feeling a better person, does not even want tom spend time with me, after a hard, 2 year battle just to get access back.

What have I done wrong?

What am I doing wrong?

How have I had this happen to me when my child is my world?

Families Need Fathers Produce Essential Book For Anyone Representing Themselves In A Child Contact Case

Families Need Fathers has just produced an essential book entitled “Give ‘Em Some LIP!” (LIP meaning Litigant In Person). This is an essential read for anyone that is either a McKenzie friend or representing themselves in court.

I have been fighting my own case for almost 2 years now and my McKenzie friend has been great and this book will hopefully help me to be better prepared in court and know what is the best thing to do for progress.

The book has been produced by top McKenzie’s and professional advisers such as Jeff Botterill and Ruth Glover and is available at:   http://www.fnf.org.uk/shop/index.php/fuseaction/shop.category/categoryid/21

I hope this book helps all of us progress to a happier future.

Let me know any comments on the book.

Joyful Yet Sad Day

Today my 7 year old daughter had her Holy Communion.  I was a very proud father today, but at the same time I was filled by emotions of sadness.

My baby mother and her family, all 15 of them were sitting nicely in Church with my daughter and I sat 5 rows behind them with my close friend of many years.  Despite being happy to see my daughter and proud of how she looked and acted, I could not help feeling bitter about the whole situation.

My daughter is the best thing to have ever happened to me and to have to constantly turn up at events like a spare part just destroys me. My baby mother’s boyfriend acts like he’s the Dad and I get left feeling hurt all the time.  I want to lash out and shout about it, but I know my ex will only use this to further alienate me from my daughter.

Am I over-reacting in this situation, should I be mature about it more?????

I may not be the most responsible person in the world, but I do believe in justice and I would never do anything to harm my daughter.

My only comfort today was that a wealthy relative of the baby mother got me to pose with my daughter and that showed me that at least 1 person has a heart and a conscience and it meant the world.

When you are so outnumbered at every occasion how can you deal with the situation, knowing what a b***** someone is being.

I want people to know what my baby mother is doing so I don’t always appear to be the lone Dad that just turns up at every occasion almost unwelcome.