I Need Advice – Am I A Bad Father?

June 12, 2009

I never write personal blogs like this, but I actually need help and for once in my life I am asking for some help and advice.

Today, my 7 year daughter turned up at my doorstep clinging to her mother saying “I don’t want to see you Daddy, I want to stay with mummy”. I squatted down and calmly said “why not darling” what is it?

To give you some background. Monday  just gone (June 8th I was told by my ex that my daughter was invited, by her best friend, to a Holy Communion in a nearby church.

I responded by saying that it was my day with her on Sunday and that I should be allowed to take her to the church on Sunday. I acknowledge the parents might know our situation and be reluctant to see me as it has been 2 years since I have been allowed to pick up my daughter from school.

There were many email communications throughout the week between myself and her solicitor as she was only offering an overnight Friday in return to taking 2 Sundays away from me (my only day to spend REAL quality time with her).

Today  she turned up and said “if you had agreed to what our daughter wanted then everything would be ok”.

Seriously, am I a bad father for insisting I should be able to take her to her best friends’ Holy Communion.  I do understand that my ex may be friends with our daughter’s best friends’ parents, but surely if it is my court ordered day to be with her, they can just ask me to take her.

Today is the first day I have really questioned |if I should have had a child. My best achievement in life is my daughter and I have always been there and I will always be there. But to experience what I did today, my whole world has been shattered into tiny pieces as my whole reason for feeling a better person, does not even want tom spend time with me, after a hard, 2 year battle just to get access back.

What have I done wrong?

What am I doing wrong?

How have I had this happen to me when my child is my world?

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Families Need Fathers Produce Essential Book For Anyone Representing Themselves In A Child Contact Case

June 8, 2009

Families Need Fathers has just produced an essential book entitled “Give ‘Em Some LIP!” (LIP meaning Litigant In Person). This is an essential read for anyone that is either a McKenzie friend or representing themselves in court.

I have been fighting my own case for almost 2 years now and my McKenzie friend has been great and this book will hopefully help me to be better prepared in court and know what is the best thing to do for progress.

The book has been produced by top McKenzie’s and professional advisers such as Jeff Botterill and Ruth Glover and is available at:   http://www.fnf.org.uk/shop/index.php/fuseaction/shop.category/categoryid/21

I hope this book helps all of us progress to a happier future.

Let me know any comments on the book.


Joyful Yet Sad Day

June 7, 2009

Today my 7 year old daughter had her Holy Communion.  I was a very proud father today, but at the same time I was filled by emotions of sadness.

My baby mother and her family, all 15 of them were sitting nicely in Church with my daughter and I sat 5 rows behind them with my close friend of many years.  Despite being happy to see my daughter and proud of how she looked and acted, I could not help feeling bitter about the whole situation.

My daughter is the best thing to have ever happened to me and to have to constantly turn up at events like a spare part just destroys me. My baby mother’s boyfriend acts like he’s the Dad and I get left feeling hurt all the time.  I want to lash out and shout about it, but I know my ex will only use this to further alienate me from my daughter.

Am I over-reacting in this situation, should I be mature about it more?????

I may not be the most responsible person in the world, but I do believe in justice and I would never do anything to harm my daughter.

My only comfort today was that a wealthy relative of the baby mother got me to pose with my daughter and that showed me that at least 1 person has a heart and a conscience and it meant the world.

When you are so outnumbered at every occasion how can you deal with the situation, knowing what a b***** someone is being.

I want people to know what my baby mother is doing so I don’t always appear to be the lone Dad that just turns up at every occasion almost unwelcome.


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