Father’s Rights Still Being Ignored

October 27, 2009

Despite efforts by FNF (Families Need Fathers),  a government-backed father’s rights organisation, there is still gross injustice in the family law courts when it comes to separated fathers and their  rights in seeing their own children.

Slow progress has been made over the past few years but much more needs to be done to protect our children’s rights from being neglected.

To support children’s rights and father’s rights visit http://www.fnf.org.uk


Parental Alienation And The Damage Caused To Children

October 27, 2009

Parental alienation has been widely accepted as a term used to explain the brainwashing or conditioning of children by a resident parent (usually the mother) whereby they persuade the child against contact with the non-resident parent or persuade the child not to be enthusiastic about contact with the non-resident parent or their new partner.

Being on the receiving end of parental alienation is not pleasant thing. Since the birth of my daughter I have had to battle with the mother to be considered as an equal parent, but eight years on I am still battling to be acknowledged as a valued parent.

My ex-partner (mother of our daughter) never had a proper father as he split from his wife and never kept in proper contact and I personally think that this has a had a knock-on effect, because my daughter’s mother seems to think that I am not an important part of our child’s life and this is very saddening for both me and our daughter.

Too often I witness parents that do not seem to care enough about their children and it saddens me to know that I am willing to give my heart and soul to make my daughter’s life more meani9ngful, yet I am constantly battling with her mother just to be treated as an equal.

Why Try And Brainwash An Innocent Child?

October 24, 2009

I’m sitting at the airport on my way to visit my parents who moved abroad 4 years ago and as usual I am missing my daughter.

I have a life; several growing businesses, many passions and a girlfriend with children of her own. Yet still I sit here and think of my beautiful angel that means the world to me.

Today is her mother’s birthday and I kindly (maybe stupidly) dropped my daughter off early so that she could spend more time with her mother, knowing fully that the mother would never do the same for me.

My daughter loves my parents (her grandparents) but when I asked her this morning, she said that she would not want to go with me if her mother allowed it.

Despite the fact that my daughter enjoys time with me, my girlfriend and her grandparents, she is continuously being coersed or brainwashed into thinking otherwise.

It is terribly sad to see that her mothers parental alienation tactics are actually working.

I know for a fact that she loves the time spent with me and with my girlfriend and her 2 children, but at the very mention of seeing them, she gets uneasy and upset and she does not know why, which is very saddening to witness.

This poor innocent child has been subjected to jealousy, parental alienation and been at the centre of a nasty court battle for far too long, but her mother continues to act against her best interests and I constantly feel like I should just try and remove my feelings for my own daughter, but this just is not possible.

I adore my child and why should it have to be any other way?

Childrens Rights Need To Be Considered More To Help Avoid Fathers Being Alienated From Their Children

October 21, 2009

At my last court review hearing, although I received increased contact which is a positive step towards my requested contact schedule, it was made apparent to me that the view of the legal system and of the social worker attending the hearing, was that midweek contact between my daughter and me may not be a good idea and be disruptive for my daughter.

Since when and how is it disruptive for a child to be brought up with two loving parents that have their best interests at heart.

Before contact was denied and the court process started I used to see my daughter midweek and she loved it. I just do not understand why children’s rights and children’s bests interests are not being addressed properly in the UK. I simply cannot see how any damage can be done by blood parents wanting to be more involved in their own child’s lives, surely any child would wish for such a thing?

If common sense were used in family courts and judges were given the proper powers to act on these issues, then maybe more serious issues would be dealt with, such as parental alienation, coaching, brainwashing or whatever else you want to call it.

Positive Update With My Family Law Case

October 17, 2009

OK, I have a slightly positive update for this week. I had a review hearing in court to discuss increasing my contact with my daughter and to discuss Christmas contact arrangements as I have not been allowed to see my daughter at Christmas for the past 3 years, apart from 2 hours, which just does not count.

My daughter’s mother started off the court hearing by offering me only 2 hours yet again, which continues to illustrate what kind of person she is. Thankfully the judge and the CAFCASS officer were once again on my side and for the first time in 2 years they put real pressure on mother, to consider what was actually best for our daughter and not what she wants, for her own selfish reasons.

Throughout the 2 hour court session mother repeatedly said no to everything I requested and tried her very best to give me no extra contact time with my daughter but with hard work and assistance from the judge I am now allowed to pick my daughter up from school as I used to 2 years ago. Why a mother would want to stop a father being involved with their child’s school is completely beyond my comprehension, but it was achieved (with caveats).

Regarding Christmas day, after a long battle with mother and her barrister I was granted contact from 4PM on Christmas day through to the morning of 28th December.

I was denied contact on Christmas Eve and New Years eve but am allowed to have my daughter on the 1st and 2nd of January.

The increased contact is not ideal but it is a very positive step closer to my requested contact schedule.

I have stayed focused and positive throughout the court case and it just goes to show that if you keep your focus and work hard to achieve your goals, anything is possible.

A huge thank you to everybody who has messaged me on this blog over the past year, all comments both positive and negative are welcome and it really does help me to know other parents do share similar views on the family court system, shared parenting and parental alienation.

I would also appeal to Kent who messaged me recently and advised me to give up on my case. I have fought long an hard to get where I am and I have absolutely no regrets in representing myself with the assistance of a McKenzie friend, in fact I am proud of my achievements, although it has taken far too long to get here, but this is unfortunately how the court system works as court and government resources are over-stretched and the child and estranged parent suffers.

I still envisage being in this situation for the next 8 years as mother seems intent on being nasty and vindictive, so keep up the support and messaging your comments.

Thank you

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