Birthday Weekend With Daughter Cancelled Despite Court Order

July 12, 2009

My court order has now been broken for the third weekend.

I went to my daughter’s birthday party at McDonalds and when I asked my daughter’s mother what time I could pick her up, she replied “you know you haven’t got here and I’m not discussing it!”  Now, bear in mind this is my alternating weekend which has been in place for almost one year.

She seems insistent on alienating me from my daughter’s life, which can only harm our daughter as we have a great bond, but she still keeps trying to brainwash her and you can visibly see my daughter is uncomfortable when I and her mother are near each other, it is such a shame as our job is to teach and protect our child.

Yesterday was meant to be the day I took my daughter to choose her new bike for her birthday, instead I spent the day upset and confused, this is now the third weekend that my daughter’s mother has cancelled, despite having a court order stating they were my weekends.

Where are my child’s rights?
Why is parental alienation not stamped out?
When will father’s rights be enforced?


School Sports Day Made Difficult By Alienating Mother

July 7, 2009

Today was my daughter’s school sports day and thankfully the weather was perfect, not too hot, just right 🙂

As usual the only problem was that my daughter’s mother had her boyfriend there and he was constantly in my face and trying to compete in being closest to my daughter whilst photographing her doing her sports.

Now, it has been 3 years since all this started and im slowly being able to cope with mentally the situation, but I have never seen any other child or child’s mother subject their children to such a situation at our our daughetrs school, which is obviously uncomfortable for all concerned.

The most distressing part of the day was the Father’s race. A teacher tunred round and asked if I was going to join in and I said only if my daughter wants me to. My daughter turned round and said she wanted me to and I could see my ex and her boyfriend looking at me from the corner of my eye.

I agreed and went over to the rest of the dads, who were already lined up.

As I got to the starting line, my ex’s boyfriend came over and joined in, purely because I had. Now, this is not rational or adult behaviour, as this is obviously making it more difficult for my daughter and it appears to me that this was an intentional action just to wind me up. There is a long history of parental alienation and it is clear to me that my ex wants me to be out of my daughter’s life and thinks I am not important for her.

My ex’s boyfriend is a student and is 14 years younger than me and 9 years younger than my ex.  I have had enough of this childish situation and I only wiosh that I knew a way to deal with this guy and my ex, they clearly have no respect for me being a father and do not care about my daughter’s best interest, as these situations, which happen everytime an important event occurs, cause even more friction to a nasty situation where there is no line of communication between me and my daughter’s mother.

How can I deal with this situation in the long run, I am really struggling??


I Need Advice – Am I A Bad Father?

June 12, 2009

I never write personal blogs like this, but I actually need help and for once in my life I am asking for some help and advice.

Today, my 7 year daughter turned up at my doorstep clinging to her mother saying “I don’t want to see you Daddy, I want to stay with mummy”. I squatted down and calmly said “why not darling” what is it?

To give you some background. Monday  just gone (June 8th I was told by my ex that my daughter was invited, by her best friend, to a Holy Communion in a nearby church.

I responded by saying that it was my day with her on Sunday and that I should be allowed to take her to the church on Sunday. I acknowledge the parents might know our situation and be reluctant to see me as it has been 2 years since I have been allowed to pick up my daughter from school.

There were many email communications throughout the week between myself and her solicitor as she was only offering an overnight Friday in return to taking 2 Sundays away from me (my only day to spend REAL quality time with her).

Today  she turned up and said “if you had agreed to what our daughter wanted then everything would be ok”.

Seriously, am I a bad father for insisting I should be able to take her to her best friends’ Holy Communion.  I do understand that my ex may be friends with our daughter’s best friends’ parents, but surely if it is my court ordered day to be with her, they can just ask me to take her.

Today is the first day I have really questioned |if I should have had a child. My best achievement in life is my daughter and I have always been there and I will always be there. But to experience what I did today, my whole world has been shattered into tiny pieces as my whole reason for feeling a better person, does not even want tom spend time with me, after a hard, 2 year battle just to get access back.

What have I done wrong?

What am I doing wrong?

How have I had this happen to me when my child is my world?


Joyful Yet Sad Day

June 7, 2009

Today my 7 year old daughter had her Holy Communion.  I was a very proud father today, but at the same time I was filled by emotions of sadness.

My baby mother and her family, all 15 of them were sitting nicely in Church with my daughter and I sat 5 rows behind them with my close friend of many years.  Despite being happy to see my daughter and proud of how she looked and acted, I could not help feeling bitter about the whole situation.

My daughter is the best thing to have ever happened to me and to have to constantly turn up at events like a spare part just destroys me. My baby mother’s boyfriend acts like he’s the Dad and I get left feeling hurt all the time.  I want to lash out and shout about it, but I know my ex will only use this to further alienate me from my daughter.

Am I over-reacting in this situation, should I be mature about it more?????

I may not be the most responsible person in the world, but I do believe in justice and I would never do anything to harm my daughter.

My only comfort today was that a wealthy relative of the baby mother got me to pose with my daughter and that showed me that at least 1 person has a heart and a conscience and it meant the world.

When you are so outnumbered at every occasion how can you deal with the situation, knowing what a b***** someone is being.

I want people to know what my baby mother is doing so I don’t always appear to be the lone Dad that just turns up at every occasion almost unwelcome.


Why Should Loving Your Your Child So Much Have To Be So Painful

May 22, 2009

It has now been three years since I split with my baby mother and it still hurts like mad when I go to special events and functions.

Today I went to watch my now 7 year old daughter play Cello with many other children for a music event in a local school.

When I arrived, my daughter was with her mother and her mother’s boyfriend of 3 years. I have had to come to terms with the fact that there is another man taking my role, as I am not allowed to see my daughter more than every 2 weeks, but when I arrived she did not even bat an eye lid to me until I had walked past her mother and boyfriend.

Instead of me walking her into the school hall and spending time with her, my ex’s boyfriend did it and it hurts an indescribable amount when you have such unconditional love for someone, that you can’t even act like the father you are. I never imagined fatherhood could ever be so painful.

When she is in my care she is so loving and really seems to have a great time, as I put myself out to do special things with her every single time I see her. She is such a confused child and she is caught up in a situation where she is not made to feel comfortable about expressing herself towards me, which must be damaging for her.

I was so hurt by the situation that I almost drove home without seeing her perform, but I took 5 minutes out and decided the best thing was to see it through and it was the right decision. Throughout the performance she seemed uncomfortable with me being there but my mum who came with me, told me that she could see my daughter trying to see me throughout the performance and that made me feel a little better.

After her performance she came upto me (after her mother’s boyfriend motioned for her to come and say goodbye) and she seemed much more affectionate towards me and towards my mum, but I could see in her face she felt very saddened by the experience as this was a rare occasion for her to see me, as well as having her mother and boyfriend about.

I now fill heart-broken, sad, angry and confused. I have had a long time to deal with my situation, but it never fails to shock me just how much the situation hurts me and it must really be affecting my daughter.

If only her mother would put the past behind her and try to be amicable for the sake of our only child, it would make a world of difference.

I will never regret having a child, but how much pain can a father take, before there is justice and children are put first, rather than courts naturally taking the side of the mother, despite having facts to hand that prove the mother is unwilling to ever promote contact between a child and a natural parent.


The Best Snowfall In the UK For Many Years And Wish I Could Play With My Daughter And Build A Snowman

February 3, 2009

It is the best snowfall for many years in England today and all schools are closed. Despite this, I cannot see my daughter and have fun in the snow with her. I am told she is “busy” today as there is a funeral tomorrow for her grandmother.

This is the kind of selfishness I have had to deal with since our daughter was born. the poor child, I am sure, would love to come out and play, but her mother does not care about that, she only wishes to hurt me and, in turn hurt her daughter in the process.

It has been a painful 2 years and despite having the judges and CAFCASS on my side, the legal system fails to act properly in these cases and the parent not living with the child suffers and ultimately it is also the child that suffers, not being able to have a balanced view of life, only a one-sided twisted view.


Missing My Baby

January 26, 2009

The wait for justice takes forever.

Having not seeing my daughter for over 2 weeks I got to see her overnight at the weekend and I took her ice skating and for a Sunday meal with 3 other children. A fantastic day and night was had and once again I have to return my daughter to her mother with another 2 weeks to wait to share more amazing times with my own flesh and blood.

I have never been in trouble with the law, never physically hurt anybody in my life and yet the UK family law courts and legal system allows a jealous, vindictive mother to abuse her daughter’s rights in order to hurt an ex partner (despite having left me for a student 15 years younger than me).

It is frightening to think that a mother can get away with harming her own children just because she wants to. The United Kingdom is meant to be a civilised, democratic society, yet UK laws still do not enforce court orders that are broken by mothers and the UK legal system allows children, the innocent victims of failed relationships, to suffer because, for one reason or another, one parent wishes to inflict emotional hurt on the other.

My daughter is a smart, seven year old girl that is as innocent as any other child, but she has beeen denied the right to see her father for two years because her mother got jealous about me moving on with my life with another partner, despite the fact it was her choice.

I have tried to get my daughter to Disneyland which she was very excited about, but she was told by her mother that I would leave her on her own, which naturally frightened her into not wanting to go.

The only country I WAS allowed to take her on holiday was Spain, where my parents live, but of course her mother could take her wherever and whenever she liked.

I have always been there for my daughter whenever she needed me and I had, up until Sep 2007 never missed any school events or open evenings, so I could see my daughter’s achievements and get involved more with her school, but for two years now I have been denied the basic human right of seeing my own child, which is a terrible shame as I am a passionate father with lots of knowledge and advice to give a child, so they can make their own mind up about their contribution to life and society.


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